Sunday, October 24, 2010

I hemmed some pants, does that count?

Hi there. I bet you are wondering why I haven't been posting. Or where all the pictures are of what I've actually made in the last months. Or something? ANYTHING? Well the honest truth is I've been really busy with the things that make home, well, A HOME. I had been on nights at work for so long that the noisy outdoor chores, or indoor chores didn't get done. They didn't want to wake me up. This also led to nothing much at all being done, even the 'quiet' chores. So I'm making up for almost nine months of cleaning. And of course, now that I'm on days there's more socializing too. Apparently my friends missed me. And honestly I missed them too. Oh yeah, and then the parenting stuff. After school activities, parent teach conferences, play dates, birthday parties, homework and I don't know what else. But that is all made worth it for the hugs and kisses, the seeing them accomplish new things and all those things I would be missing out on otherwise.

But I hemmed my husband's jeans. Nice pair of jeans he found for a good price but they were TOO LONG. It only took a couple months but I got around to fixing that for him. And later the next day I tried to do some sewing while just absolutely exhausted. You know what they say about not operating heavy machinery while tired? Sergers count as heavy machinery! They have sharp moving parts, in case you didn't know that. I had decided to try making another cowl neck, but this time out of a charmeuse instead of knit. It was going great until I caught the sleeve in the moving knife.

I cried. I really really cried. I went in my bedroom, shut the door, and cried and sulked and realized that I'm just. so. tired. Its frustrating when you have all these wonderful ideas and great fabric to work with and when you do have a little time to yourself it gets chipped away a little at a time until you realize there's nothing left for yourself.

This also the reason I hate the holidays. So many expectations on your time and politics to deal with when you want to say no. This just might be the year I have a complete melt down.

This reminds me of a Heinlein quote, and so that is what I will leave you with today.

Do not confuse "duty" with what other people expect of you; they are utterly different. Duty is a debt you owe to yourself to fulfill obligations you have assumed voluntarily. Paying that debt can entail anything from years of patient work to instant willingness to die. Difficult it may be, but the reward is self-respect.
But there is no reward at all for doing what other people expect of you, and to do so is not merely difficult, but impossible. It is easier to deal with a footpad than it is with the leech who wants "just a few minutes of your time, please — this won't take long." Time is your total capital, and the minutes of your life are painfully few. If you allow yourself to fall into the vice of agreeing to such requests, they quickly snowball to the point where these parasites will use up 100 percent of your time — and squawk for more!
So learn to say No — and to be rude about it when necessary.
Otherwise you will not have time to carry out your duty, or to do your own work, and certainly no time for love and happiness. The termites will nibble away your life and leave none of it for you.
(This rule does not mean that you must not do a favor for a friend, or even a stranger. But let the choice be yours. Don't do it because it is "expected" of you.)

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