Thursday, August 29, 2013

A Very Personal VLOG

Before you decide to watch this I am going to tell you up front that this is NOT a sewing post and this is about my very personal struggles with anxiety, depression, and chronic pain disorder. Its a long video sparked by a twitter conversation the other day. If you do not have any interest in this go ahead, mark as read, and I'll have some happy sewing posts for you soon. (Please note almost finished Tofino's in background). I promise I won't be offended.

I am also posting a number of links below this for those of you that are inclined to read and research.



Something of note, the only reason my initial back injury did not put us in the poor house is because it was covered under worker's comp even after my contract was up. However, after four years they really wanted to get rid of me so that's when the settlement proceedings started. It was a paltry sum of money in the grand scheme of things but it kept us afloat until I was able to get full coverage under my company and not get denied treatment for "pre-existing condition" thanks to the "Patient Protection Act" (aka Obamacare, and anyone who tries to troll political is going to get deleted, that's not what this is about).

"The Spoon Theory" or the origin of the term "spoonies". If nothing else, read this.

Brain scan of depressed and not depressed brain from Mayo Clinic

What SSRI's are and what they do for depression.

General Anxiety Disorder

What is clinical depression?

Serotonin  and Dopamine

Stay Fabulous! XOXO

19 comments:

  1. Lovely post, very brave of you to be so open. I hope that things continue to get better and improve with you!! Kitty and I offer up our support and love. :)

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    1. Thank you! I'm slowly climbing out of the depression hole and that's making it possible for me to mentally deal with doctors and treatments. There's stem-cell research on regrown cartilage that I'm excited about and hope is available in the near future.

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  2. Proud I am. Courage that took! Done well!

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    1. Thanks Dad, it was scary to post it.

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  3. You're my hero. Really. Thank you for posting that.

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  4. Thanks for posting this Lady K, I've never though about having to deal with that level of pain as a baseline. No wonder it makes everything more difficult to deal with. Thanks for sharing.

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    1. You're welcome. If sharing helps people understand and not feel alone, it was worth doing.

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  5. I commend you for posting this very personal account of your struggles with chronic pain, etc. What you have so eloquently stated is my personal belief that you never know what goes on in someone else's lif. Unfortunately, people sometimes make judgements about others' behavior, when in fact there could be a medical/ emotional/ economic condition which is in play in their daily lives.

    I wish you all the best in attaining the greatest measure of good health and that the good days far outnumber the tough ones.

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    1. I have come to have a very similar belief. I grew up with a greater awareness of disability and what that means for people because of the struggles I watched my mother go through. I never understood how she was able to manage, but one nugget of wisdom "Naps are your friend".

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  6. Thanks for sharing this. I have another friend dealing with chronic pain and between the two of you I am learning to be more aware of the assumptions I tend to make about what other people are capable of.

    I hope that things improve for you and I wish I could lend you my spoons.

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    1. Your friend is lucky to have you! Thank you for offering spoons but you should keep them for those close to you when you need them. I'm lucky to have good friends and a supporting family.

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  7. As a fellow chronic pain sufferer (Fibromyalgia) who also deals with anxiety, food sensitivities, sensory processing issues, restless legs, chronic insomnia, and has in the past dealt with clinical depression, I am quite proud of you putting this vlog on your blog. It is all about the baseline and how many spoons you have that day (thank for sharing that, I didn't know how to explain it and now I have a way). Some days I have enough, most days I do not, and by 6 PM or so I am all out of spoons. I am also quite fortunate that I have an understanding husband who can "pick up the slack" when I can no longer do anymore. I wish more people could understand how much energy is wasted on chronic pain and anxiety, and how it is directly correlated with how much you can handle on an emotional level. Thank you again for sharing.

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    1. My half-sister was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia a couple years ago and several acquaintances have it. Its such a tough condition and I commend you for navigating with it. I'm glad I was able to help with lexicon and that you also have understanding family. xoxo

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  8. This weekend I've had a friend over because she just needed to escape her house a bit. She has a variety of pretty serious, bad things going on right now - both of the health and personal variety - and she's anxious and depressed. I was reading blogs on the couch while she was sitting next to me and she saw the title of this post, so we watched it together. I think it was helpful for her to hear about someone else's experiences and sort of reassuring to hear that pain is real and she's not imagining it, if that makes sense. So, thank you for helping. :)

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    1. I'm so happy I was able to help someone feel not alone. I told myself that if I was able to help just one person than it was a good thing to share. Let your friend know she's welcome to reach out to me. I can point her toward support resources online. ladykatza gmail :)

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  9. Lady K, I am glad I caught this post! I saw it scrolling the sewcialists.org fire hose. You mentioned Hyperbole and a Half, a wonderful blog that has taught me quite a bit about what this kind of experience is like for other people. Anna Viele of the blog ABDPBT (All But Dissertation Pretzel Brain Twist) has also written quite a bit about her own experience.

    I am sorry to hear about what you have to manage on a daily basis. It is very generous of you to share your experience with others so that we can learn something about what this is like.

    I've not experienced anything of this magnitude but did have to retire earlier than expected due to a severe case of tendinitis affecting both arms and forearms. It took seven years of rest to almost but not fully recover the use of my hands.

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    1. Thank you so much for watching. I've known others with severe cases of tendinitis and it is no picnic. I hope you are close to recovery

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